Conversations...

I'm headed to Kona tomorrow afternoon. I'm excited about getting over there and feeling the energy of the island. Before the other two IMs I've done, I've left Hawaii on Thursday night, 10 days before the race. I don't get over jet lag well, and this worked for me. It also allows me to be able to get away from work, deal with the stress of packing at the last minute well before the race and gives me time to buy anything I need without rushing. I won't have any jet lag to get over this time, but I really need to escape work and here's why.

These are actually conversations I've had with employees in the past 2 weeks.

Me: Hi employee 1, does your laptop work ok?

E1: Yep.

Me: Okay, just checking because we are ordering some new ones and want to get extras now if one is going to fail soon and one of you guys mentioned a problem with them a while ago.

Me: Hi employee 2, oes your laptop work ok?

E2: Yep.

Me: Ok. Just checking because we are ordering some new ones and want to get extras now if one is gong to fail soon and over yu guys mentioned aproblem with them a while ao.

E2: Mine works fine, but it has the same problem as Employee 1's laptop.

Me: Employee 1 didn't mention any problems. What's wrong with yours.

E2: The battery doesn't charge, the laptop only works if it's plugged in.

Me: Well, then it doesn't work right, so I'll look into it.

3 hours later:

Me: Hey employee 1, meet me tomorrow at the electric company, wear your company polo shirt, we are going to meet with some of their executives and get a demo on their mapping software and then load the data on your laptop. Remember to bring your laptop with you.

E1: Ok. See you then

24 hours later:

Me: Hi employee 1, where's your laptop.

E1: It's in my truck.

Me: Well, we need it inside so we can load the data on it

E1: It won't work inside.

Me: It should.

E1: The battery won't charge and only works when it's plugged in and I left the plug at home. I have it plugged into the converter in the truck.

Me: I thought you said the laptop worked fine.

E1: Well it does.

Me: If the battery doesn't work, then I'd say it doesn't work right.

E1: Oh.

Me: Did you not remember when I reminded you to bring your laptop?

E1: Oh, I thought we could just do everything at my truck.

Me: You really thought we'd just have all the executives stand around your truck while we loaded the data?

E1: Uh.

Me: Follow me upstairs but do not speak through this whole meeting.

Me: Hey employee 2, where are you right now.

E2: I'm on my way back to the shop.

Me: Ok, but where are you.

E2: In my truck.

Me: What part of the island are you.

E2: Oh, I'm on H-2, no wait, H-3. I'm headed back to the shop.

Me: I need to know where you are so I can decide if I want to send you on another job.

E2: I'll be at the shop in 30 minutes.

Me: I need to know exactly where you are on the island so I can decide if I want to send you on another job before you drive back to the office. There's no need for you to come back and waste gas and time.

E2: Oh, can I pull over and figure out where I am?

Me: Please do, and call me back when you've figured out what is your elbow and what is your asshole.

E2: Hey Maggs, my truck needs new tires. Where do we take it?

Me: I think any Firestone or Goodyear will work and put it on the company account, but let me check with boss and I'll call you back.

E2: Ok.

Me: Hey boss, E2 needs new tires. I told him any Firestone or Goodyear, but just wanted to make sure.

Boss: Yeah, but he shouldn't need new tires, the truck got new tires less than a year ago and a front end alignment. Have him call me so I can talk to him.

Me: Sure thing.

Me: Hey E2, call boss, he wants to talk to you about the tires before you do anything.

E2: Ok.

Phone rings twice, it's E2. I'm on the other line so I call him back.

Me: Hey E2, you called.

E2: Yeah, I have quote for the tires.

Me: Did you talk to boss.

E2: I called him but he was talking to someone else.

Me: Did you talk to boss.

E2: No, he was busy.

Me: What did he say about the tires.

E2: I didn't ask him.

Me: You need to talk to boss before you do anything.

E2: Oh, I called him like you said, but he was busy.

Me: Why are you getting tires right now anyway, don't you have jobs to do?

E2: The tires on my truck are going bad.

Me: Did you just notice this and decide it's critical to have it done today?

E2: It's not critical, I just noticed it though.

Me: Call boss, talk to him about the tires before you do anything about them, and next time, plan ahead. Am I now paying you the new guy to sit around and wait for tires?

E2: No, new guy went with Employee 1 this morning

Me: Oh, did I tell him to?

E2: No, employee 1 wanted him to and thought it would work out better.

Me: Oh really. Does employee 1 run the company or do I?

E2: Uh, you do.

Me: Thanks, just checking to make sure nothing had changed.